GRIEFS, ITS EFFECT

Grief is an uncomfortable feeling, a pain, distress, a hurt, sometimes a scar from the past. It is different from a physical wound because it can’t be seen, but if you can picture an injury and how it looks, that is the same effect grief has on the mind of anyone plagued with such feelings. It is an invincible injury.

 Its impact on anyone is more important than the impact of a physical wound because the medication for it to heal is intangible and it requires discipline than any physical wound. It can’t be seen yet everyone carries one form of grief or another everywhere they go. Of course it reflects on the faces, words and actions of the carriers but in most cases they are not aware or conscious of the effect it has in them.

Grief takes a process and grows in two distinct directions. It can either grow up or grow down. That means it can either be beneficial or dangerous. It can either be Godly or worldly. When growing upwards, it grows faster receiving freshness and light making it better just like a plant, however when growing downwards it clouds the carrier, getting them trapped in the dark.

Godly grief is from God. It is meant to last only for a little while and to help the carrier go and grow through a process. It is permitted by God to happen to produce a better result in the person. This process starts from repentance: accepting one’s mistake and being remorseful about it. It leads to salvation, then to deliverance from evil. At this point, the person is not plagued by past mistakes and can enjoy liberty and joy for the future. With no regret because all the past is wiped away, only thanksgiving and a new dimension/perspective to life is birthed in the person.

But worldly grief is from the world, caused as a result of worldly cares. It also goes through a process and it is a long one leading astray. It lasts forever. 

  When it comes, it leads to helplessness/sorrow; a feeling of loss and hopelessness, a feeling like no one cares and because of the loss there is no more hope in life. This leads to guilt and guilt is a self condemning situation; where the carrier condemns and feels guilty for him/herself. After a long while, this leads to depression, a sorry state for oneself and then regrets for actions and decisions made. If not helped, it leads to suicidal tendencies; the carrier begins to think of taking his/her life and then ultimately death. Sometimes this process can take a short time; depending on how grievous the situation is or the carrier’s temperaments/personality.

Worldly grief obviously and ultimately leads to death and it is one of the major challenges we have in the world Inspite of economic development. Since we all have our own grief levels, we need to watch out for ourselves and loved ones. One major way of not falling into worldly grief is to have a habit of confession. When you have done wrong or made a mistake open up and quickly tell someone who can help you so you can come out of it.

What traps majority of people into grief and guilt is the art of “sealed –lips”. I know in our part of the world we are very judgmental and hypocritical; if a friend opens up to another friend of certain mistakes maybe stealing, fornication or adultery, the friend perceives him as a bad person and makes himself holy and righteous when he is even doing worse things. This is part of the reasons why people keep quiet in their mistakes and it only gets worse. Change does not happen on its own, it is done by conscious and deliberate effort and that is why it is difficult to change.

However, we can’t afford to become slaves to our weaknesses/mistakes, we have to change and make them strengths. We need to forgive ourselves of our own past, open up and help others too by being truthful of our own mistakes and showing them how to overcome it.

From the growing process of Godly and worldly grief, Godly grief shows and teaches us genuine love, openness, forgiving one another, tolerance and accommodation for others and oneself. This will lead to a better and sane society where we will act towards one another with a genuine heart. Worldly grief only grows from one level of pain and sorrow to another. It teaches us nothing, it only leads to bitterness, regret and death. It does not benefit us in our society in anyway.

Keeping away from worldly grief is the best and the best way is to first be a good listener to others and ensure you are not judgmental towards them. Then gradually seek those around you and find someone who would listen and not judge you but will be genuinely interested in helping you become better. With this done, we will flow in the direction of Godly grief, love one another genuinely and the result will be a better society for us all.

Thank you for reading.Have JOYFULL week.

Ciao.