I thought he loved me? How could I be so blind?
I asked myself these questions over and
over again. No answers came to my head.
All I see is the pain. I am so clouded by
it right now. I feel betrayed.
After wallowing in my regrets for some
weeks I decided to ask myself more questions.
What did I do wrong? What could I have
done better? Why did he just walk away? Couldn’t our written plans and visions
for tomorrow keep him no matter our challenges? Why did he give up on us?
Then more questions. Did I really and
genuinely love him? Did I express it to him enough for him to be secured in my
love? Or was I just selfish thinking about me and not how he feels?
These questions made me seek to understand
what love really means and what I have been doing thinking I have loved other
people.
My search led me to the true God who alone
loves truly; in his expression of love for me, He said he loves me while I was
not having the capacity to love him back. He loved me while I blamed him for
all the challenges I faced. He loves me faults and all and he showed that love
to me withholding nothing.
I could not comprehend why he loved me so
much but I believed it. He then led me to what it really means to love. In his
book he clearly stated that my eloquences, prophecies and speeches would make
no impact except it be from a heart of love. That means no matter my
accomplishments if I do not love I am just a vacuum. No relevance, no impact.
That caught my attention,
Then he went further to just lay down what
love is in simple terms.
Love is Kind
Love is Patient
Love is Gentle
Love does not strut
Love cares for others than self
Love endures all things
Love never dies
Love believes
Love takes pleasure in the truth
Love does not keep record of wrongs
Love does not force itself on others
Love hopes
Love lives
Love lays down its life for friends
I could not deny it. I did not love him
because I really didn’t understand what love is.
No wonder it is the greatest commandment.
My feelings got the best of me. Lord help
me!
As you have loved me, help me love others
and help me love genuinely. As simple as the word looks, it is the root cause
for any effect we see. If we are loved genuinely our responses to situations
will be different. If we are hated, its result will show.
Can we love differently as our father
loved? Our world will be a better place for it.
